“Hey, you want a raise?”

I looked up from my administrative/reception desk to see my supervisor standing there leaning in with an eager look on his face, anticipating my affirming answer to his question.

“Uhhh, sure?” I answered questioningly.

“Good! Your annual review is tonight. Will that work for you? We can move it to another day if tonight is not good for you to meet with the owners.”

“Tonight is great!”

It was going to be great, even if I had other obligations. A raise? Heck, yeah! Any other obligation became flexible at that point.

My supervisor smiled, turned, and walked back to his office.

As I was contemplating throughout the day about how I was going to answer the typical questions of: What goals I have made for this year? How did it go in accomplishing last years goals? How is my job going? Is there anything they can do to make things better at work? Etc…. There is a question that came to mind that I was not sure I should ask. I contemplated about it all day. I went back and forth a few times about whether or not I was going to ask it. Then, I pondered on what my parents taught me. They taught and encouraged me and my siblings that if you have a questions, just ask it. What is the worst thing that can happen? Whoever you’re asking the question of can say, “No.” But, they just might say, “Yes.” If you don’t ask the question, then the answer will always be NO.

My supervisor sat down next to me in the conference room at the appointed meeting time. The table, large enough to fill the room, is made of beautiful solid hardwood. The kind that makes you want to run your hands across it, side to side, feeling the smoothness on your skin. Surrounding the table and barely fitting in the room, are eight black leather stuffed swivel rocking chairs. Each is perched on an octopus-looking metal base on wheels. It was so hard to sit still! One of two owners of the company I work for, and signers of my paychecks, sat down across from me, placing his laptop in front of him on the table and scooting his chair in close. The other owner was out of town on the day of my review. Whew. Only one person firing questions at me. My supervisor was there for moral support, I suppose. He is kind-hearted, and only ever has good things to say.

The review started as usual with questions about how my job is going and if I like my job and if my coworkers and I are doing well, etc. I shared my new goals for the year (taking an education course, setting up new system for use of our equipment to generate revenue, and start meeting quarterly with coworker to discuss improvements we can make, and so forth) . Then we started discussing the change that was made in the company’s billing processes. The owners decided to outsource our billing because the billers that had been with them from the early days of the company decided it was time to retire and become full-time grandmas.

Early spring, this year, is when the new billing company took over. The change has been less than stellar. Our revenue collection is not what it was prior to contracting the new company. The bills and payroll are being paid, and nothing more. However, I was reassured this is only temporary and things will start to pick up soon.

Rolling over and over in my mind is the thought, “How can I even think of asking my question, given what I was just told?”

As soon as the owner asked me if there is anything they can do for me, I decided to be bold (crazy?) and step out of my comfort zone. I explained that I realize this is less than optimal time to ask, but I was raised to believe that if you have a question you want to ask, just ask it. So….

“If you are thinking about giving me a raise this year, would you consider giving me a three-year raise? I will not necessarily need a raise for the next two years. There is an increase in work load with the new billing system, now that it falls on us in our department to correct mistakes, follow up on denied claims, etc. Plus, I would like to be able to set aside more money for retirement, since I am getting closer to that day than feels comfortable, at the moment.”

He asked if I am feeling older. Since he and I and my supervisor are close to the same age, we all chuckled as I smiled and nodded. He said with a smile that I will definitely get a raise, but it might not be as big as a three-year raise. I will get a raise, though.

As we all stood up from our seats and walked out the door, I turned, looked at the owner with a smile and said, “It really is ok, if my raise needs to wait.”

He smiled and said, “We are going to be just fine. Not to worry.”

It was a little strange to feel relieved as I walked down the hallway with my supervisor. He was making small talk while I was silently questioning myself about whether I should feel more embarrassed and less hopeful than I was feeling.

I’ll let you know when I get my next paycheck if the answer to my question is “no” or “yes”.