Longview, Texas? Tyler, Texas? St. George, Utah? What do these places have in common? They are WARM places we have been considering for our next place to live, in the not-so-distant future. We are definitely going to go on a road trip to Longview and Tyler, just not sure how soon. We are leaning toward St. George because it is not so far from our children and grandchildren, so maybe they would come visit us more often than if we lived in Texas.
If you could live anywhere in the U.S., where would it be? Why?
Then we received a call from our daughter this morning. She and her husband had been considering moving in with us with their little boy this summer for a year or two so they could get some debt paid off quickly. But, the last we heard, they were thinking they would probably stay where they are at.
The first question she asked when she called, this morning, was if they decide not to move in with us, are we going to move out of state? We said we are considering the possibility. She replied, “Then we are moving in.” I asked if she is serious and she confirmed that she is serious. So, that settles that (I think). We still need to discuss the logistics, but we are probably staying here, for now. They will pay a few of the monthly bills while they are staying with us, which will be helpful to us, too. It’s a win-win. At least for awhile.
Life takes some unexpected twists and turns. And just when you think you are twisting right, next thing you know, you better hang on tight for that sharp left turn, Clyde.
I used to think cheese, crackers and sausage were the best snack ever…second of course to buttery popcorn.
When I had my first experience with a charcuterie board, the layout spoke to my artist brain and the food spoke loudly my healthy food cravings, with a little sugar thrown in for good measure. (Can’t offer food without some kind of chocolate, right?!) The charcuterie board included various cheeses, crackers, sausage, nuts, jellies, fruits, veggies, etc…. You name it, if it is in the snack category it was on the board.
If you look up charcuterie, you will find a variety of types of these delicious snack boards. I have seen movie charcuteries boards with a variety of movie theater candies and popcorn spread artistically across the board. Breakfast charcuteries have waffle pieces, sausage links, boiled eggs, sliced, fruit varieties, etc.
Look it up, find a fun one, and create it for your next Superbowl (Superbowl Charcuterie) party or simply to impress your mom at the next family gathering. 🙂
Our oldest daughter announced to us at our Christmas family gathering, then announced on Facebook (because if it is on Facebook, then it really happened) that she set a goal in 2024 to read 1000 books. And, she achieved that goal! Divide that by 365 to know how many books she needed to average DAILY. I can’t even imagine reading ONE book a day! She was honest when she shared this achievement with the family that she mostly read romance novels that are quick reads. She is a very fast reader anyway, but reading that genre only helped to increase the number of books she could read at one sitting.
After she made this announcement at our family gathering, I leaned over to her 15-year-old autistic boy, gave him a nudge and said, “Your mom is back!” He, being a literal thinker, looked at me questioningly, then looked at her and back at me again. I said, “Your mom read 1000 books in a year. She obviously, was not very present in the moments. Since she will not be reading so much, she should be able to be more present in your daily life.” In a softly defensive response, she said, “We spend every Friday together because he volunteers at the library with me and we get to go to lunch together.” Well, I guess that is better than nothing and everyone parents their own way. Who am I to judge?
She has always been a bit goal oriented and well educated. While working full time she went to a local college and received her Bachelor’s Degree. Then she trotted herself off to Scotland for a year where she could fast track receiving her Master’s Degree in something that would help her become a top librarian at our local library. Our grandson stayed home with his dad while his mom was gone that year. They seemed to make it work.
I bet you are not surprised she is a librarian… and a good one, at that.
I suppose that when you are surrounded by books all day every day, it would make sense that you would want to devour a few!
with my Dad. That is not possible, so I just marinate in the memories.
Two years before Dad died, which was last January, he got Covid 19. It robbed him of his ability to smell and taste everything except tomatoes for the rest of his life. He was not in the best of health for the last several years before his passing. Mom was good to care for him for most of those years. He was mostly homebound except for the mornings he would wake up and say he wanted to drive himself and Mom over to McDonald’s for a McGriddle. He could not really taste them, but said they felt good in his mouth. He was always a breakfast guy. I suppose I am like him in that way. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.
Anyway…
Since Dad was mostly homebound, so was Mom. She did not get to travel like she would have liked. She did not get to eat out or go shopping much. She was home with Dad. That is just how she was and how their marriage worked. He was home, so she was home. Now that Dad is gone, she can explore more opportunities to go places. She says “yes” a lot more now.
In the last year, Mom has eaten out a few more times than ever before. She has gone to lunch with friends. She goes to her sister’s house once a month for a scripture study meeting. She went to San Diego with my sister in the spring. She is in the process of getting her passport and is planning to go on a cruise with us this year. I can hardly wait to experience that with her! As sad as we are about Dad’s passing, we are equally excited to share some of Mom’s “first-time” experiences.
In the meantime, tonight, my husband and I, my sister, her husband, their daughter, and my brother are going to take mom to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner for her first time. She is going to love the creamy cheesy smothered chicken breast, mashed potatoes and strawberry salad.
I am grateful for the gift we have been given of this time with Mom and opportunities to explore some of the experiences with her that this life has to offer.
Apparently, one of my biggest challenges is remembering to take pictures with my family on the holidays. It is regretful. Next year, there will be no photo that will pop up in my memories on my phone from a year ago. No photo memory of today – January 1, 2025.
The morning started with Joe washing 20 big beautiful baker-sized Idaho Potatoes, wrapping them in foil, and placing them in the electric roaster oven while I showered and get ready for the day.
He readied the 14-lb prime rib, gathered all the seasonings and other fixings, and placed the three pies we made yesterday (blueberry, cherry, and mincemeat) into the back of our pickup.
We drove around the block to my sister’s house, where we arrived at about 11AM. Joe seasoned the prime rib and had it in the 500-degree oven by 11:30AM. Ten minutes later, he turned the oven down to 325⁰ and it was perfectly done to medium rare at 2:45PM.
While the meat and potatoes cooked, six of us played Farkle. Have you ever played? It is a fun dice game for two players or more. I had never played until last week. Joe and I like playing it together in the evenings.
At one point, I noticed our teenage grandchildren were gathered at one end of the table with their phones in their hands, mostly lost in their own worlds, but every once in awhile sharing with each other a funny video they saw or some other new discovery. At the other end of the table, the adults were visiting with one another. I wondered to myself what the grandchildren had ever taken time to learn about my mom, their great grandmother.
My first question to them was if they knew where she was born. I was a little surprised so many of them knew the answer. Then I asked what year she was born and how old she was when she and my dad were married. I asked if they knew where. Did they know how many siblings my parents each had and could they name them all. It was impressive to me that they knew so much. We then asked about my husband’s family and pulled out some photos we had of them.
We had a great day filled with fun, laughter, reminiscing, and good food. My dad started this tradition of prime rib with the family on New Years Day. We missed him for sure. But today’s time spent with family was a great start to the new year.
What positive events have taken place in your life over the past year?
It is not easy to find much positive in my life this past year. My dad died in January. He was the glue that held our family together.
In March, my husband had his 8th knee surgery and spent two months in a rehabilitation facility three hours from our house. I worked every week and drove three hours each way to visit him on the weekends.
At about this same time, I started questioning my faith and made some choices I am not proud of. I learned a lot about myself and my husband. Thankfully, we fell together instead of apart. He has been a great support and has shown nothing but unconditional love for me. The one positive event that took place this year, I suppose, is when my husband pulled me off of the path I was headed down, one that would have brought me sadness and misery.
In May, I quit taking meds that were making me feel numb. I wanted to feel again. Oh boy! Did I ever start feeling! Depressed, anxious, and angry… definitely not healthy. We started weekly couples counseling and added individual counseling in late summer/early fall.
In July, my coworker made sure my boss knew I was struggling to keep up with work. (She threw me under the bus.) I was moved to a location in the back area of desks where admin assistants and others sit to do their work. It was a nice big partitioned desk area with a lot of room to spread out and organize my work station. It was quiet with few distractions. But, it was away from the department I work for, which brought its own challenges.
In August, my husband had a 9th knee surgery. He spent three more weeks at the rehabilitation facility. He came home after that and started outpatient PT twice a week. Adding those to the counseling appointments means he is going to appointments almost daily.
September and October are a blur. By November, it was a wonder I was functioning at all, let alone functioning normally. Two new meds did not work out. They made things worse, in fact. I just had to hang in there until the 18th of November when we would head out for vacation to San Diego for 10 days of R&R.
Two weeks before we were to leave, my quiet place at work became a nightmare when a new girl was moved into the desk area next to mine. The built-in cabinet wall partition did not go to the ceiling. The new girl loved her strong-smelling flowery Gain detergent, which wafted over the wall into my area, taunting me and my allergies daily. Allergy medication did not help…. Talking to her about the problem did not help…. Talking to Administration did not help…. I had to move back to the department where I worked at a very small desk, which barely fits two small monitors, a keyboard, and a phone. At least I could breathe, and in a couple of days, I would be leaving for vacation anyway.
It wasn’t to be, however. I got a kidney infection. I have never had a kidney infection. It was not fun! We had to cancel our trip, but at least I had two weeks off work so I could stay home to heal.
I spent quality time with my mom and family leading up to Thanksgiving. We enjoyed a big Thanksgiving meal together with all of our family. I made the meal, so my husband and I did not hang around long at my sister’s house after the meal was over since he was not feeling well and I was tired out from all the food prep the day before and baking the day of. It was the first Thanksgiving without my dad. It was noticeably different without his presence.
I have been an emotional wreck. Anxiety and anger became my new daily companions during the week. Depression accompanied us on the weekends. I definitely felt like it would be ok if it were my time to die. I even pleaded with Heavenly Father to take me home. I had no suicidal plans. I just wanted it to be my time.
It has been 10 days since I started a med that has evened out my pendulum-sized mood swings. I finally feel like myself again. It is not perfect, but way, way, way better. I feel happy and I love life again! I even prayed and thanked God for not taking me home when I asked. I told Him I would stay as long as he would allow me to stay here. I feel like I have more to do, more life to live, and experience, in a good way!
I have learned that if you are struggling with something, just have faith, hang in there long enough, and it will get better! I am grateful for modern medicine, a loving husband and family, and a job that pays the bills and keeps our heads above water most of the time.
This beautiful Sunday morning, as I look out the back door at this corner of our yard, my thoughts are drawn to the beauty of change, the clouds in the sky, the mostly empty flower pots, and the raised garden box, which contains one last 2-inch long zucchini that I was hoping would beat the first freeze of the year. It did not. We will be pulling that plant out today.
My husband built the raised garden box, so gardening would be more comfortable for us as we age. Every spring he helps me plant vegetables, usually two tomato plants – cherry tomatoes and an early girl or big boy plant, a sweet pepper, a zucchini, a cantaloupe, and a couple of herb plants. I like onions, carrots, radishes, peas, and beans, too. Over the years, we have planted these in the box or the ground if the garden box is too full for all of the veggies and fruits we want to plant.
He is the type to keep the garden and all of the flowers watered, dead-headed, and/or weeded, as necessary, yet gives me the credit for our garden and flowers. Isn’t that sweet of him?!
He is a hard worker – definitely not lazy. He is kind to me, never mean. He has a disability, but does not let that stop him from doing all he can within his limitations. He gets a little discouraged sometimes because he can’t do all that he wants to do, but he rarely shows bitterness or frustration. He just keeps pushing through, sacrificing time and energy for me and our family.
He has MS, has had several back and neck surgeries, has nearly died twice from necrotizing fasciitis (flesh-eating bacteria) once in each leg, has had nine (yes nine!) knee replacements and removals due to MRSA infections (four surgeries in one knee and five in the other), not to mention bladder cancer and congestive heart failure. He has had other surgeries and has other health concerns, but you get the point.
It is amazing to me that he still functions at the level he does. Walking mostly with a walker now, he gets around pretty well. I think anyone else would be in a wheelchair or bed ridden by now.
When I was diagnosed with MS, thirteen years ago, ten years after my husband’s MS diagnosis, I was shocked and scared, but I had a wonderful example to follow. He learned to accept it and not let it stop him. I realized I could accept my diagnosis and learn to live with it, as well.
My favorite thing is when Joe walks out of the bathroom with my hairbrush in his hand, sits on the couch in the living room, and motions for me to sit on the floor in front of him so he can brush my hair while we talk. It is a very loving, kind gesture that I will never tire of and always feel gratitude for, especially after I have had a long day at work.
He shows me and our family unconditional love, kindness, generosity and sacrifice of time and energy, how to roll with the punches, and get back up every time he gets knocked down (or falls down). He loves the Lord and his family. I feel so blessed he is my husband and want to be like him when I grow up! 😉 ❤️
My newest coworker is happily married. She and her husband both have good jobs. They have three sons. The oldest son has been on a mission in Brazil for their church for over a year. The second oldest son is a senior in high school. The youngest is a junior at the same high school. They are a happy family living the American dream, with a house, two cars, and a dog. Until…
Last night, just before midnight, their American dream became a nightmare….
This morning, when I arrived at work, it was shared with me that my coworker’s son (the senior) was killed in a car accident last night.
The news article said a teenager driving a small car on a highw]ay crossed over the center line, crashing head-on into a pickup truck, killing himself, and the 28-year-old male driver of the truck. Neither driver was wearing a seatbelt.
This young man’s tragic death is worsened by the fact he and his girlfriend were in a fight not long before the accident. The girlfriend is devastated and feels her life has been shattered.
My coworker and her husband, this young man’s parents, are beyond grief-stricken, as you can imagine. No parent should ever have to lose a child. I think of all of this boy’s family, friends, classmates, and neighbors, whose lives have been touched by him. Those who want, but will never get, to see him again, at least in this lifetime. My heart breaks for them, all.
Give your loved ones an extra tight hug tonight. You never know when it just might be their last.
Last night, I was making a delivery in a neighborhood I did not recognize. It seemed like several neighborhoods together covering one large area. My directions seemed to be unclear as I was driving. I pulled over to the right next to some houses and a one story small building so I could get a better idea of where I was in comparison to my destination.
I pulled over next to a car that was parked at the end of an island. We were both perpendicular to this long island, which is located as a divider between two roads. (This was a fancy neighborhood.)
My attention was on the map on my phone when I noticed out of the corner of my eye two people exiting the building. I realized it was a hair salon and the two people walking to the car next to me were my parents!
I had gotten out of my car and walked up toward the building where I was standing in the shade talking with my mom. My dad slowly walked around the drivers side toward the back of their car and lifted the hatch so he could place his walker behind the back seat of their small SUV. He was smiling. I called out to him to be careful. I turned and smiled at my mom and noticed how nice her new haircut was. I looked back at my dad, who seemed so content.
Next thing I know, they are in their vehicle slowly driving away. I waved, still smiling, because it was so nice to see them unexpectedly.
Just then, my alarm went off. It was morning already. I hit snooze, lay back on my pillow and started thinking about my day. What day is it? Oh, yes, it is Tuesday. My husband needs me to wake him before I leave for work today. And, I need to leave a little early from work so that I have time to pick up my mom and take her… to get her hair cut.
Then, the realization washes over me. It was a dream. But, it was SO real. My dad was alive and smiling. But, it was just a dream. The reality is that he is gone. He has been gone since January. My eyes welled up with tears. I could not stop them. So much love was quietly spilling out and running down my cheeks. It happens frequently these days.
This is only the second time I have seen my dad in a dream. The first time did not leave such a feeling of longing for him to still be in my life. To be there to talk to whenever I want to. To see his smile. To feel my own smile and happiness.
There will be an underlying current of sadness as I go about my day today, but also a belief that I know my dad is in a better place. A happy place, which pulls the corners of my mouth upward. It’s ok to smile at the thought of him in a better place, free of pain and challenges.
Today, I accepted my second Amazon Flex block ever. It was a 4-hour block that paid $95. When my husband and I pulled into the lane as directed in the outdoor Amazon loading dock, I was happy to see only two bins of packages for me to deliver today. I proceeded to scan and load the packages into my car, Olive. (She is little and black, so her name is perfect! And, did I mention she gets 45mpg in town? 37mpg on the highway? Yes!)
As I started sorting the envelopes into the plastic tote to keep them from getting lost amongst the boxes, I noticed one was addressed to a lady in Inkom and one in Pocatello. Turns out that all of the packages were going to Pocatello or Inkom. What!? I had to drive an hour before I could even start delivering?! That was unexpected. I thought all of the deliveries I would be doing as a flex driver would be local. I wasn’t so sure it was worth the money.
Especially when at one of the last stops, I had a huge scare… my first run-in with not just one, but two huge dogs! Rottweilers? Mastiffs? One of each? I am not sure, but they each had a bark like they could take me down and eat me in one gulp! Maybe two or three.
I had walked warily past the beware of dogs sign, up the steps, and onto the large deck toward the front door. I paused before reaching out to knock, as I could see that the door behind the heavy old-fashioned wooden blue painted screen door was open.
They must have heard my approach. Just then, the first dog flew through the unlatched screen door, throwing it open so hard it slammed against the house. I was surprised, but honed in on his barking mouth. He did not bare his teeth or foam at the mouth as he ran past me, rather than straight at me. In that split second, I figured I would be ok. Until… the second dog came barreling through the screen door at break-neck speed. I prepared for the worst. My entire body tensed, waiting for the bite. My arm? My leg? Would he jump at me to attack? Nope. He ran right past me, barking louder than his buddy.
At the same moment, his owner with a gray scraggly beard appeared at the door. Walking through the door, he gently placed his hand on my shoulder to calm me. (I am sure I looked petrified.)
His wife, not much taller than those big dogs, followed behind him and said, “The dogs won’t bite. They are friendly.”
I exhaled, forced a smile, said thank you, and handed her the bubble-padded envelope. She walked with me back to my car parked in the dirt driveway a fair distance from her front door. Her husband secured the dogs near the house.
I opened my car door and melted into my seat, finally able to breathe normally. I backed us down the driveway and out onto the road. The shaking and teary eyes could not be helped as my body was relieved of the tension and added adrenaline that was released in my “flight or fight” moment.
Those famous last words were playing over and over in my head, “Get a gun.” Meaning a stungun for protection from animals. If only I could remember the one recommended to me before I decided to start delivering with Amazon.
The positives from today were the beautiful fall weather, the view, not becoming lunch for those two dogs, and having my husband with me. Days like today make me feel like I want to travel.
In what ways does hard work make you feel fulfilled?
I despise (maybe too strong of a word… “dislike” is better) laziness. It is sad to see the potential of loved ones slip away in place of laziness.
There is a difference between disorganization and pure laziness. A person’s house can be rather sloppy and disorganized, but the person is out doing things, getting an education or working or creating.
Also, some of the hardest working people I know have physical disabilities. If they are limited in their abilities, it does not necessarily mean they don’t work hard. It may mean their hard work looks different from a well-abled adult.
What is laziness? Unwilling to work or use energy. Idleness. Laziness kills ambition.
What is Ambition? A strong desire to do or to achieve something, typically requiring determination and hard work.
I’ve often wondered where gaming fits in. If one is only gaming for fun and not productive in any other way, is that laziness? Or idleness? Or is their ability to achieve levels in games considered productivity?
Can a person truly be fulfilled if the efforts and achievements only benefit them in a virtual world? Or does real fulfillment come only when making a difference through hard work in reality? 🤔
IMO the latter is true. It feels good to work hard to accomplish a goal or complete a project, especially when serving someone in need.
That is not to say there is not a time for rest and relaxation, but that is for another blog post.
Before this blog was a reality, while still in the planning stages, someone asked me if I ever read blogs. That was a great question! My answer was no. I mean, I had read a few blogs but did not really follow any or read any blogs regularly other than news blogs. I remember asking myself if I am qualified to start a blog if I don’t really read them? Haha!
Now I read blogs regularly, follow several blogs, I am inspired by many, and I live vicariously through some of your stories and experiences. I appreciate the time and effort it takes for you to blog your thoughts and experiences.
Live, Love, Grow
Today was an interesting step in our aging process. My husband’s knee surgeon with whom my husband had a six-week follow-up appointment said that we are all dying. It is a part of life. We need to make the best of life at each stage. And, then he wrote a prescription for a jazzy scooter for my husband, along with a prescription for continued PT so he can keep what strength he does have and slow the process of weakening over time.
My husband’s numerous medical challenges have never stopped him from working hard to keep moving with as limited assistance as possible. He is an inspiration for never giving up or giving in. To him, a jazzy scooter feels like a step backward.
I do not see it that way. From my viewpoint, nothing has changed, except it will increase his level of safety when we are going to events, sightseeing, or on trips. It will expand the distance he can safely go and do things around the neighborhood and a greater opportunity to visit with friends and neighbors without someone necessarily needing to be there to push him in his wheelchair.
Life is not without its difficulties, and it may not always be comfortable, but with adversity comes growth. Someone said once that there is no comfort in the growth zone and no growth in the comfort zone. So, if we, as adults, are all dying anyway, we might as well make the best of it!
ChatterLei 