Posted on by ChatterLei

My Mom’s Friend is My Friend’s Mom

Tuesday, I took my mom to the doctor to discuss the pain in her knees. His office retook X-rays of her knees and said there was nothing broken. He gave her a cortisol injection in both knees, said she probably has a “bone bruise” from her last couple of falls, and sent her on her way.

She was thrilled there were no limitations placed on her (except for the excruciating pain she has been feeling) so she was free to attend the outdoor concert with her friends by the river. These friends and my mom have all lost their husbands. So, they really enjoy their “girls night out.”

The friend who picked my mom up drives a minivan so all of their friends can fit. (There are five women in total who ride to the river together.) She put my mom’s walker behind the back seat in the van. As she closed the hatch, she looked my way, then walked over next to me and asked if there are any restrictions or instructions from the doctor that she should be aware of.

Mind you, my mom’s friend just recently decided to get up off her “deathbed” and start “living life again.” She hardly eats anything. She is so small and frail, looks like skin and bones. She is younger then my mom by 3 years, but looks older than her (from all of the weight loss). I almost couldn’t contain my reaction when she asked me about my mom’s restrictions and then said she will take care of her the best she can. It was so sweet of her, but…really? Oh my! I thought later that I should have asked if her she was given any instructions or restrictions from her doctors and should I go along to help take care of all of them?

My mom’s friend is my friend’s mom.

My friend and I met in the 2nd grade. (We are almost retirement age and our moms are in their early 80’s. Well, I guess maybe her mom is only 79 or so.) Anyway, we went to school together, even double-dated in high school. We both married navy guys who each go by the same name. They have different legal names, but go by the same name. We were each other’s bridesmaids in our weddings. We kept in touch when she moved out of state to the upper Northwest and when I moved out of state to the upper Midwest. We sent cards and letters over the years to keep updated about our kids and our lives. We were the best of friends. But, distance and time can change things.

Mostly, misunderstandings can change things.

We are both back in the same town where we grew up. Unfortunately, we had a couple of falling outs over the years and she even stopped talking with me for several years. We are back on speaking terms and we try to get together with our husbands for dinner every now and then, but the closeness will never be the same.

My friend and I have both lost our dads. She lost her dad to covid in 2020. I lost my dad to watershed strokes in 2024. I am hopeful, that soon, my friend’s mom, my friend, my mom, and I can get together for lunch or something. That would be such a cool moment, all of these years later.

Posted on by ChatterLei

The Funeral

Jackson

My thoughts as the funeral is taking place today:

A snapshot of life….we all in this chapel share this moment in time at the funeral of my coworker’s teenage son. As we listen to the heartfelt tributes and memories, through tears and moments of laughter, together as friends, family, and even complete strangers, it is a bonding moment that will pass when we exit this room. But, for a moment, we are bonded together listening as the family tries to keep this young man’s memory alive.

I believe there is an amazing family reunion on the other side of heaven, just like there is on this side. The veil between heaven and earth seems thin when a family member passes from this life to the next.

A great story from one of this young man’s aunts is after Jackson’s passing, when her husband, Jackson’s uncle, asked through the air looking upward, “Jackson, if you are there, make it smell like skunk.” Unbeknownst to the aunt that this request took place several minutes earlier, she walked over to the part of the house where her husband was so she could tell him that there was a strong smell of skunk outside and she was worried there might be a skunk in the back yard. Her husband told her about the request. They embraced and cried together in that moment of reassurance.

It seems Jackson’s two brothers who are speaking today are on the autism spectrum. One is back briefly from his mission in Brazil. Their words are serious, enunciated clearly, and very loving. Jackson’s passing leaves a large hole in their lives.

Jackson’s parents are speaking. They have so much strength.  They talk of angels. Jackson’s heart had no boundaries. He was fun and adventurous. He loved the outdoors and his family. They know they will see him again. Families are forever.

A funeral is an interesting spiritual experience. It fosters connections, strengthens family bonds, increases knowledge and understanding of those who have passed, and stirs our own reflection of life and how we have lived so far. Jackson was a stranger to me but has a spirit I can relate to. I love the outdoors and wish I would have been able to explore and have more adventures camping and hiking like Jackson.

What a beautiful tribute from a family about a young life lived to the fullest.

It is raining now as the family heads to the cemetery, Jackson’s final resting place. The weather seems fitting for the feelings of sadness that accompany a day such as this. I hope his family will take comfort in the memory of seeing so many friends and loved ones who filled the chapel today in loving support.