Posted on by ChatterLei

My Mom’s Friend is My Friend’s Mom

Tuesday, I took my mom to the doctor to discuss the pain in her knees. His office retook X-rays of her knees and said there was nothing broken. He gave her a cortisol injection in both knees, said she probably has a “bone bruise” from her last couple of falls, and sent her on her way.

She was thrilled there were no limitations placed on her (except for the excruciating pain she has been feeling) so she was free to attend the outdoor concert with her friends by the river. These friends and my mom have all lost their husbands. So, they really enjoy their “girls night out.”

The friend who picked my mom up drives a minivan so all of their friends can fit. (There are five women in total who ride to the river together.) She put my mom’s walker behind the back seat in the van. As she closed the hatch, she looked my way, then walked over next to me and asked if there are any restrictions or instructions from the doctor that she should be aware of.

Mind you, my mom’s friend just recently decided to get up off her “deathbed” and start “living life again.” She hardly eats anything. She is so small and frail, looks like skin and bones. She is younger then my mom by 3 years, but looks older than her (from all of the weight loss). I almost couldn’t contain my reaction when she asked me about my mom’s restrictions and then said she will take care of her the best she can. It was so sweet of her, but…really? Oh my! I thought later that I should have asked if her she was given any instructions or restrictions from her doctors and should I go along to help take care of all of them?

My mom’s friend is my friend’s mom.

My friend and I met in the 2nd grade. (We are almost retirement age and our moms are in their early 80’s. Well, I guess maybe her mom is only 79 or so.) Anyway, we went to school together, even double-dated in high school. We both married navy guys who each go by the same name. They have different legal names, but go by the same name. We were each other’s bridesmaids in our weddings. We kept in touch when she moved out of state to the upper Northwest and when I moved out of state to the upper Midwest. We sent cards and letters over the years to keep updated about our kids and our lives. We were the best of friends. But, distance and time can change things.

Mostly, misunderstandings can change things.

We are both back in the same town where we grew up. Unfortunately, we had a couple of falling outs over the years and she even stopped talking with me for several years. We are back on speaking terms and we try to get together with our husbands for dinner every now and then, but the closeness will never be the same.

My friend and I have both lost our dads. She lost her dad to covid in 2020. I lost my dad to watershed strokes in 2024. I am hopeful, that soon, my friend’s mom, my friend, my mom, and I can get together for lunch or something. That would be such a cool moment, all of these years later.

Posted on by ChatterLei · 3 Comments

MS Awareness Month – A Personal Experience with Infusion Therapy

Oh! The irony….

The first stick today at the infusion center was in a vein just below my wrist staight down from my right thumb. It stung like crazy. The nurse, a very happy, kind young woman in her 20’s had to move the IV to the left side of my left arm. I was well hydrated, but for some reason, I was extra sensitive to the pokes today.

After the premeds of solumedrol (a steroid for inflammation reduction) and Benadryl (for prevention of possible allergic reactions to the medication) were given and when the 30-minute wait time was over, it was time to start infusing the half dose of a new medication my neurologist prescribed because of the increased MS symptoms I was experiencing and the three new lesions seen on my recent MRI. The stress of the past year has definitely taken a toll on my body.

Ocrevus is a medication which is initially infused twice, 14 days apart, and then as an infusion every six months to reduce the symptoms and number of future MS relapses. There is not a cure for MS, but the medication can be helpful in slowing the progression of the disease.

My arrival time was 9AM this morning. Riding in the elevator in silence with my husband to the second floor was not intentional. The closer we got to the infusion center the more nervous I felt. The elevator doors opened and we walked straight ahead and took the jog to the right. Behind the glass door that we walked through into the infusion center, sat a very bubbly blonde girl behind the desk She was eager to help us feel welcome. I recognized her voice as the one who scheduled the appointment with me and called me “Sweetie” before hanging up the phone last week. Someone younger than yourself should NEVER call you “Sweetie.” It feels disingenuous and condescending, in my opinion. She, however, was very friendly and did help us feel very welcome.

The room that was going to be mine for the next 7.5 hours was inviting and even had a homey feel to it. I was directed to sit in the big dark brown leather recliner. My husband sat in a very nice cloth wing-backed chair on the other side of the end table placed between the two chairs. On the wall in front of us was a large TV hanging above a side board with drawers where the nurses accessed the necessary supplies. It was the same width as the TV. The TV was displaying a beautiful cozy sitting room with a fireplace and all kinds of St. Patrick’s Day decore dispersed about the room which gave a bit of a wimsical feel to the coziness.

The normal medical history questions were asked and answered. When the nurse asked me, “How do you sleep at night?” I could not help my response, “With my eyes closed.” She laughed like she knowingly had that coming. All of the nurses were kind, helpful and reassuringly stated they have very few people who have reactions to the medication.

Well, I had a bit of reaction, so the medication was stopped for 30 minutes and restarted at a lower dose. I started to feel shaky so the nurse brought a string cheese and an apple juice for me. By then, it was late enough that she let me choose a lunch to be delivered by Uber, which was paid by the infusion center. That was a nice perk of choosing them, (if you can call it “choosing” when they were the only one that was in-network with our insurance).

The remainder of the infusion ran smoothly. The nurses checked my vitals every 30 minutes. My blood pressure, oxygen, and pulse were good the entire time. At 4:30PM we walked out toward the reception desk. I stopped in the hallway where I let the nurse know that I was experiencing some double vision in my left eye. She said if it got worse or if I started to have new symptoms that I should go to the ER. One of the other nurses will give me a call tomorrow to check on how I am doing. When that call comes, I hope to answer while at work, since I am feeling better tonight. It is nearly 11:30PM, and I am wide awake. It comes as no surprise because of all the napping I did today, thanks to the Benedryl.

Posted on by ChatterLei · 2 Comments

Enjoying Retirement

Daily writing prompt
What were your parents doing at your age?
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When my dad was my age, he was retired, as was my mom. My parents traveled to see us where we lived in the upper Midwest at the time. Those were the best years for my mom. She loved to travel, which must be where I get my love of traveling and adventure!

Numerous events happened the year my mom was my age. It was 2001. It was the one-year anniversary of my paternal grandfather’s passing. My husband was diagnosed with MS. 9/11 happened. My husband took early medical retirement in October. I quit my job in early November. We sold our house and moved back to the western side of the Rockies where my parents still lived. That was the last long trip my parents took, when they drove out to help us move back home.

My parents seemed so young and active when they were my age. I feel so aged with the stress of working full-time and my health issues. In fact, I am waiting for the results of an MRI I had done just yesterday. It seems I may be having an MS exacerbation. (Yes, my husband and I both have MS, diagnosed 10 years apart.) I have new and worsening symptoms of numbness in my feet and hands, muscle cramping and tightness, heaviness in my legs with walking, and exhaustion in the afternoons. I don’t know for sure. It may not be MS, it could just be stress. I will know for sure in a couple of days.

Anyway, I am grateful for the time and money my parents spent in traveling out to see us when we lived in Minnesota. We have many fun memories of time spent with them there. We took many walks around the parks along the Mississippi River and even took a boat ride in my husband’s boat on the Mississippi River a time or two. We have fun memories fishing, spending time at the cabin, shopping thrift stores and pottery shops, and sharing our day-to-day activities when they came and stayed with us.

I remember the first time they came out to visit us. They were not used to the humid summers in the upper Midwest. My mom mentioned more than once how strange it was to take a shower in the mornings and put on fresh clothes from the closet that felt like they were almost still “wet.” They were used to the dry desert heat back home. That was when we figured out we needed a dehumidifier. Dehumidifiers were not a necessity in the west, but they sure keep a house dry during the dog days of summer in those quaint little river towns along the Mississippi River.

Thank you for letting me share a walk down memory lane prompted by this question.

Posted on by ChatterLei · 4 Comments

More Time…

Daily writing prompt
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
View all responses

with my Dad. That is not possible, so I just marinate in the memories.

Two years before Dad died, which was last January, he got Covid 19. It robbed him of his ability to smell and taste everything except tomatoes for the rest of his life. He was not in the best of health for the last several years before his passing. Mom was good to care for him for most of those years. He was mostly homebound except for the mornings he would wake up and say he wanted to drive himself and Mom over to McDonald’s for a McGriddle. He could not really taste them, but said they felt good in his mouth. He was always a breakfast guy. I suppose I am like him in that way. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.

Anyway…

Since Dad was mostly homebound, so was Mom. She did not get to travel like she would have liked. She did not get to eat out or go shopping much. She was home with Dad. That is just how she was and how their marriage worked. He was home, so she was home. Now that Dad is gone, she can explore more opportunities to go places. She says “yes” a lot more now.

In the last year, Mom has eaten out a few more times than ever before. She has gone to lunch with friends. She goes to her sister’s house once a month for a scripture study meeting. She went to San Diego with my sister in the spring. She is in the process of getting her passport and is planning to go on a cruise with us this year. I can hardly wait to experience that with her! As sad as we are about Dad’s passing, we are equally excited to share some of Mom’s “first-time” experiences.

In the meantime, tonight, my husband and I, my sister, her husband, their daughter, and my brother are going to take mom to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner for her first time. She is going to love the creamy cheesy smothered chicken breast, mashed potatoes and strawberry salad.

I am grateful for the gift we have been given of this time with Mom and opportunities to explore some of the experiences with her that this life has to offer.

Posted on by ChatterLei

Making the best of it

Monday. Sitting here with my husband at the North Clinic Check-in, waiting for his appointment with the orthopedic surgeon to look at his left knee. Again. The appointment, which was scheduled in August, can now be canceled.

Three days ago, my husband stood up from the bed with the aid of his walker and nearly collapsed to the floor. The pain in his left knee was excruciating. Fear filled the room like fog filling the room from a fog machine at a rock concert. Not another infection! You see, once you have MRSA in your system, it lies dormant and can rear its ugly head at any time.

The medical assistant in black scrubs with a long french-braided ponytail cascading down the middle if her back checked my husband in. She happily asked, “Where’s the pain? When did it start? What meds are you on?” He answered each question. She stumbled over a couple of words, which she blamed on the fact she had just returned home last night after spending a month in France for “study abroad” so she was a little tired. That was not something I would have guessed about her. She seemed awake, happy, and her word stumbles were not noticeable. I wanted to talk about her experience in France, but she was quick at doing her job and the next thing I knew, she was headed out the door to let the doctor know his next patient was ready to be seen.

The doctor is easy to talk to and very personable, a bit unusual for most surgeons. Long story short, another surgery is in my husband’s future. In three weeks, he will have his 9th knee removal and/or replacement surgery.

Here we go again. Good thing he is full of determination. Sigh….

Smokey Sunset

Tuesday. Our conversation on the ride home last evening after Joe’s appointment was mostly about what he was feeling about another surgery and we started planning for an upcoming week-long stay that our 7-year-old grandson has with us prior to the surgery.

Our daughter said our grandson is very excited to spend the week with us rather than his other grandparents because he “gets too bored” when he stays with them. And, I thought they were the fun/interesting ones! Now, I am questioning our planned trip to the museum. Guess we better throw in an ice cream cone. 😉

Life goes on…. Make the best of it!

Posted on by ChatterLei · 2 Comments

Benefits of Writing Your Life Story

Writing your life story can be a therapeutic tool that can help you gain insight into your past and present self, understand how your experiences have influenced the path you chose in life, and become aware of ambitions or dreams that you have not yet realized. It can also help you overcome unresolved trauma by documenting your journey through life and remembering the challenges and triumphs you faced.

Capturing a life story is more than just an exercise in storytelling. It’s a chance to pass along wisdom and life lessons, exercise your memory, organize your photos and music, and discover if any events from your past are still impacting your life. It gives you an opportunity for self-growth, reflection, and awareness. It’s a chance to strengthen family bonds, friendships, and intimate relationships. You can capture your health history and even draft an ethical will to share your values, blessings, life’s lessons, hopes and dreams for the future, love, and forgiveness with your family, friends, and community. It has been interesting and educational to read my Great Grandma’s life history. One of her life’s lessons that she shares by example is that it is ok to be kind to those who do not deserve your kindness. Even ex-husbands.

In addition to the mental health benefits, writing your life story can also have physical health benefits. A study published in the March 2018 JAMA Psychiatry found that writing about a specific upsetting memory was just as effective as traditional cognitive processing therapy in treating adults with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Writing your life story can be a powerful tool for personal growth, self-reflection, and healing. It can help you gain insight into your past and present self, overcome unresolved trauma, and pass along wisdom and life lessons to future generations. So, why not start writing your life story today?

Follow these suggestions here to write it in one hour.