Posted on by ChatterLei

My Mom’s Friend is My Friend’s Mom

Tuesday, I took my mom to the doctor to discuss the pain in her knees. His office retook X-rays of her knees and said there was nothing broken. He gave her a cortisol injection in both knees, said she probably has a “bone bruise” from her last couple of falls, and sent her on her way.

She was thrilled there were no limitations placed on her (except for the excruciating pain she has been feeling) so she was free to attend the outdoor concert with her friends by the river. These friends and my mom have all lost their husbands. So, they really enjoy their “girls night out.”

The friend who picked my mom up drives a minivan so all of their friends can fit. (There are five women in total who ride to the river together.) She put my mom’s walker behind the back seat in the van. As she closed the hatch, she looked my way, then walked over next to me and asked if there are any restrictions or instructions from the doctor that she should be aware of.

Mind you, my mom’s friend just recently decided to get up off her “deathbed” and start “living life again.” She hardly eats anything. She is so small and frail, looks like skin and bones. She is younger then my mom by 3 years, but looks older than her (from all of the weight loss). I almost couldn’t contain my reaction when she asked me about my mom’s restrictions and then said she will take care of her the best she can. It was so sweet of her, but…really? Oh my! I thought later that I should have asked if her she was given any instructions or restrictions from her doctors and should I go along to help take care of all of them?

My mom’s friend is my friend’s mom.

My friend and I met in the 2nd grade. (We are almost retirement age and our moms are in their early 80’s. Well, I guess maybe her mom is only 79 or so.) Anyway, we went to school together, even double-dated in high school. We both married navy guys who each go by the same name. They have different legal names, but go by the same name. We were each other’s bridesmaids in our weddings. We kept in touch when she moved out of state to the upper Northwest and when I moved out of state to the upper Midwest. We sent cards and letters over the years to keep updated about our kids and our lives. We were the best of friends. But, distance and time can change things.

Mostly, misunderstandings can change things.

We are both back in the same town where we grew up. Unfortunately, we had a couple of falling outs over the years and she even stopped talking with me for several years. We are back on speaking terms and we try to get together with our husbands for dinner every now and then, but the closeness will never be the same.

My friend and I have both lost our dads. She lost her dad to covid in 2020. I lost my dad to watershed strokes in 2024. I am hopeful, that soon, my friend’s mom, my friend, my mom, and I can get together for lunch or something. That would be such a cool moment, all of these years later.

Posted on by ChatterLei · 4 Comments

More Time…

Daily writing prompt
What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
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with my Dad. That is not possible, so I just marinate in the memories.

Two years before Dad died, which was last January, he got Covid 19. It robbed him of his ability to smell and taste everything except tomatoes for the rest of his life. He was not in the best of health for the last several years before his passing. Mom was good to care for him for most of those years. He was mostly homebound except for the mornings he would wake up and say he wanted to drive himself and Mom over to McDonald’s for a McGriddle. He could not really taste them, but said they felt good in his mouth. He was always a breakfast guy. I suppose I am like him in that way. Breakfast is my favorite meal of the day.

Anyway…

Since Dad was mostly homebound, so was Mom. She did not get to travel like she would have liked. She did not get to eat out or go shopping much. She was home with Dad. That is just how she was and how their marriage worked. He was home, so she was home. Now that Dad is gone, she can explore more opportunities to go places. She says “yes” a lot more now.

In the last year, Mom has eaten out a few more times than ever before. She has gone to lunch with friends. She goes to her sister’s house once a month for a scripture study meeting. She went to San Diego with my sister in the spring. She is in the process of getting her passport and is planning to go on a cruise with us this year. I can hardly wait to experience that with her! As sad as we are about Dad’s passing, we are equally excited to share some of Mom’s “first-time” experiences.

In the meantime, tonight, my husband and I, my sister, her husband, their daughter, and my brother are going to take mom to Longhorn Steakhouse for dinner for her first time. She is going to love the creamy cheesy smothered chicken breast, mashed potatoes and strawberry salad.

I am grateful for the gift we have been given of this time with Mom and opportunities to explore some of the experiences with her that this life has to offer.